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I have been in the dating game for a very long time, I have seen how people react and change to different situations, every person is different in a unique way and every person is the same other ways. for me I found that when I went out on a date, I screwtinized every single thing about the person in front of me, I analyzed there hair, there teeth, cloths, the way they spoke, what there posture was, if they ordered an expensive drink, a cheap meal, how they talked, what they talked about, how they looked at me…I could make this go on for pages and pages.
I have had very successful relationships meeting and enjoying the company of truly amazing people but it always felt like something was missing, talking to other males in the dating game they had the same response, its like the next person I went out with wasn’t good enough, after years of feeling this way I realised one day that it was me with the problem, I was trying to use others to fill that void in my life, like a dog chasing it’s tail that it will never catch.
I guess my point is whether you have been dating for a while now or you are just about to get back into the dating game try to take everything as it comes in a positive way, Give that person in front of you a little space for error and you will find the two of you will have a much more enjoyable experience, approach dating with an open mind, If everyone was the same, had the same likes and dislikes, this world would be a very boring place.
Just because someone is different then you in a way you do not understand does not mean they are weird or wrong for being that way, If you can create this kind of mind set male or female there will be much more success in your dating.
I can bet some time or another you have met a person who seems nice, looks like a stable well put together person, you went out on a date and all went well, they where friendly and happy, you had a great time and later down the track found out they have massive problems with deep seeded issues. This is the case with so many different couples you will find, so how can you find out these problems without actually getting yourself really involved where it becomes very hard to back out? there are many things to look for to find out what skeletons are hiding in your partners closet, 3 years ago I went out on a date with a lovely lady, she was an English school teacher, quite smart, very funny, nice personality, very attractive…
It seemed she had everything a normal guy like myself could want, During our date we talked like normal people, further down the track I find out she owes many people money, she lives with her mother (she’s 33 by the way) she owns 12 cats and collects hundreds of dolls and not the ones that are worth any money either….now I don’t know about you but this seemed like the person who had a lot of issues that I was completely unaware of and I can bet in time more and more issues would develop…and When looking at how the first and second date went it was all fairly obvious, I mean I couldn’t of been 100% sure but there was many things mentioned that indicated there was an interest in certain things and also a hate for others. For starters she had a big fluffy cat on her key chain, she said she loves cats and could live with nothing but cats if she could, when it came to the subject of money she changed the conversation and this included how she hated banks, her best friend in the whole world was her mother who in fact enjoyed collecting dolls ( i find out later on she was in fact the collector of dolls and not her mother)
One thing I noticed was her body language in certain conversations you could see when there was interest with the way she sat when a certain topic was brought up..
I’ll give you some ideas on what to look for when on a date in order to figure out what is going in that head of theirs
When in a certain conversation say about dolls for example you can tell if the partner sits close, like they are trying not to miss any part of the conversation and even when all has been talked about with that specific topic and they still will not let it go, you can tell there is a huge interest in that, Now if you are looking for a long term relationship then it is best to try and find out where the real interest comes from because it could be all you will hear about, enough to drive you crazy.
When talking about important issues like money, health and friends, i guess things that require some sort of basic responsibility should your dating partner show complete lack of interest, usually with the person sitting back, not making eye contact, crossing there arms, this can usually show there maybe problems in those ares of there life, they may owe people money, thay may not have any friends, if a person doesn’t have any friends you need to ask yourself why, there is usually a reason for this. They may not want to talk about health related topics due to a current illness they have, I am not saying it is wrong to stay with someone who is sick, this is just a reference for you to find out as much information as you can about your dating partner.
Remember the best thing you can do when going out on a date with a person is to ask questions in order to get them to explain certain part of there life that may be a trouble area, like money as mentioned, in doing this you can get a better picture of what to expect later down the track.
Girls you got to understand that guys tend to avoid certain types of women. Its just a fact of nature! How you act, what you say and your lifestyle can be what makes and breaks the relationships/dating your looking to have. We are going to go over the main reasons Men avoid women and hopefully we can help you out.
I guess the good thing about what I am going to explain is that a majority of the characteristics can be changed, when I say a majority I don’t mean all, some a so deeply rooted within that they will never be changed but fear not, you can work on your strengths to combat your weaknesses.
When it comes to the first date of a new person, generally it is quite hard to tell what they are really like. Everything is fairly formal and everyone is on there best behavior so it is fairly fake in a way. I guess people don’t want to scare each other off by some insecurity they think they may have, that is when it comes down to the 2nd, 3rd, and 4th date that you start to find out what kind of person they really are and they find out what person you really are. So what are some of the signs that they might just not be that interested in you?
The Big Flirt
When it comes to attraction, flirting is a must, without flirting you will be only friends. but when a girl flirts with everyone it looses it’s effect. It causes mixed signals and a lot of frustration and as a guy, you think If she is flirting with everyone she comes in contact with then why am I so special? Also being a boyfriend will mean you need to put up with her flirting with every guy around you because there is less likely chance she will stop just because you are the boyfriend. A person like this becomes old and uninteresting very fast indeed!
Speak No Evil!
While making conversation during the first couple of dates, there are certain topics that should never be spoken about. In doing so will ruin the chances of another date and make you look like you a desperate. topics such as marrage, children, your parents, Plans for future activities that involve heavy commitment, things like these make the man feel like they are being put in there place and feel pressured to agree.
Clingy Copy Cat… Meow!
This one I have had quite a few times and let me tell you girls, it is really not attractive and as a guy you just want to get the hell out of there no matter how attractive she is! A girl who follows your every move, unable to make decisions for herself, will hang out with your friends more then her own, start to do everything you do, I mean showing interest in the other person is all well and good but there is a line. Someone who calls you every day just to say ‘I love you’ is cute but it gets old if it’s all the time. If a girl shows independence and confidence, the girl will be much more attractive to any guy. In being a Clingy copy cat you show that you are desperate and lack self esteem. Prove to the man you are a leader and not a follower and this will help greatly.
Miss Party Time
Every guy loves a wild stand out of the crowed party chick but this is not something that can be sustained long term. Guys know the wild party girls are always looking to have fun and when it comes down to dating, clubbing till the wee hours of the morning isn’t something that both people want to do all the time. It also gives the impression to the guy that you are some what unstable, even though most guys aren’t normally thinking about marriage or children, situations like the ‘crazy party girl’ stirs this in there mind making them second guess the relationship.
Talk! Talk! Talk!!!..
Guys love a girl who is calm and collected. Being able to have a conversation back and forth help create great chemistry. But when the girl hasn’t seen you in 2 days and just won’t shut up about well… everything you could think of it gets really annoying. Not everything that comes into your head is interesting to the other person, acting like this is a sign of being self absorbed. Conversation is about give and take in order to create a bond. Sometimes listening will do you wonders.
Ok, currently this is at the top of the list as far as I know. There are quite a few others I am sure tick guys off and would love to hear about it in our comments. Girls don’t hesitate to ask any questions. We love questions! Good luck with love!
Let us talk reality for once. When you say that looks do not matter you yourself know deep under that you are lying or just trying to be plain nice. Starting from the minute we get up we are all conscious of the way we look. If you do not agree with this point then why is it that every house is adorned with mirrors in the bathrooms and bedrooms? Matter of factly even I sail in the same boat. Recently when somebody asked me this simple question do looks matter to you I was in fact feeling awkward to say yes, considering what the person posing the question may think of me. So even I confidently looked at the person and lied saying no! It sounds very strange that we all as human beings are so worried about the way we look and appear to others everywhere. Starting from the nearby shop to the party at the club everyone first judges you by the way you look and present yourself.
Do looks matter is in fact a very tricky question to answer and elaborate on. I would say the argument is equally placed where looks are important as well as not. In this article I shall take you on a journey filled with answers to the question do looks matter from an unbiased platform.
Actually physical looks are something which all of us are somewhat attracted to. When we pass by somebody good looking on the road automatically heads turn to have a second look at the person. Our brains are trained to notice the way people look, weather they have a beautiful nose, flawless skin, fair complexion, beautiful eyes and so on. When we see a stranger we automatically judge the person based on his/her looks. However, the irony of the situation is when you ask the question of do looks matter to a very good-looking person, he/she would often say yes and that they wished to have a better nose even if the nose is in perfect shape or that they would have preferred better hair and so on.
Speaking of online dating when you ask somebody ‘do looks matter?’ the answer has to be a blunt yes. If the person says that looks do not matter in online dating you can take it from me that the person is being dishonest. In online dating when you see somebody’s profile you would first see the photograph attached and only when the picture is pleasing to your eyes would you proceed to even take a look at the other details. Come on accept the truth that there should be some level of physical attraction for the chemistry between two people to click. I am not trying to say that physical attraction alone makes a relationship work but looks play a major role in helping the relationship click.
The next question would be to what extent do looks matter in online dating? Well to be frank in my opinion the first few dates are all about looks and nothing else. Only when you are physically attracted to that special someone would you have consented to date that person. Believe it there have been studies to try to prove the person you are depending on your looks. I personally do not know how far these studies are true but the point is that physical looks have made such a huge impact in all our lives either online or offline.
By physical looks we are not just limiting the study of do looks matter to just the physical features but also the physical mannerisms like the way you play with your hair, the way you hold the glass etc. some people may have very attractive lips making it very difficult to contain yourself especially when on a date! The eyes of another may be so attractive that you would be ready to date that person solely for the reason. When you see an online profile photo of somebody you are invariably attracted by the physical looks forcing you to answer the question of do looks matter in positive.
Seeing the other side of the coin to do looks matter, not all people are blessed with the prettiest of looks. Some people may be ordinary looking but their inner characteristics would be amazing making it very difficult for people to avoid them. This of course is not visible to the naked eye but when you get speaking to the person the magic would be readily visible. Another factor to be considered while tackling the do looks matter question would be that a man of fifty might not appeal to a girl of twenty. However, this same man in his fifty may look fantastic and sexy to a woman in her forties.
One more answer to the do looks matter question would be that what is beautiful and attractive to you may not appeal to me. For example you may like somebody with blonde hair while that may not appeal to me. So here again we see that looks is somewhat a generic term. You cannot stamp any online profile as good looking in general. In online dating looks do matter but I would say to the extent of the initial chats and dates. Once you start getting to know the person the true colors would slowly show out forcing you to believe that looks can at times be deceiving.
To sum up I would say that if you were in search of true love online it would be advisable to look beyond looks and not just physical attraction. That is not to say that looks do not matter. It matters but to an extent. There is something called physical compatibility and it is not possible to reach and find this physical compatibility only with physical looks. There are moiré factors attached to it. Enjoy online dating in a fun filled manner looking out and reaching out to attractive profiles both on the physical and mental level. It would sure be tough to take your eyes off that cute and smart picture online but also listen to your mind when it comes to taking a serious decision about an online relationship.
Dating traditionally used to mean meeting somebody you like at some common place like restaurant or park where feelings and emotions used to shared and the relationship would be taken forward if both the man and lady seemed to share the same magic. However, with the advent of technology in all fields dating too has taken a step forward and the concept of online dating has become very popular with time. Online dating is a very safe alternative to offline or real dating where you get to speak and get to know the person of your dreams all sitting in the comfort your home while your date is miles away in his/her home. Online dating has given the opportunity for all kinds of people to openly share their feelings and opt for long lasting online relationships with their special someone.
The shy and timid people get an opportunity to meet and make new friends online who would share their same wavelength. Online relationships help many people get together on the same platform and enjoy the fun and thrill of dating virtually. There are many instances of Online dating leading to successful online relationships, which have led to real life marriage of the couples. There are numerous dating sites out in the virtual world providing a huge opening for all prospective people in search of love, romance, companionship and friendship. This article has been carefully drafted for those of you considering this option of online relationships to help you fit into your comfort zone and find your dream love.
When you post your profile in the online dating site you would do so in expectation of getting replies in your inbox to take forward the online relationships. For this reason when you post your profile make sure that there are no spelling errors and draft the profile creatively to attract more responses.
When in search of good online relationships let the profile be short and crisp. Do not try to act over smart and put up a fake profile. You will surely get a lot of responses and also be able to enjoy hours of online dating but when your date actually meets you your wolf skin would be discovered and would often lead to horrible break ups. So be yourself in your profile no matter what your shortcomings are there will be someone floating in the virtual world with the same wavelength looking for online relationships.
You are creating an online profile in search for online relationships and not creating a job profile. So add a pinch of humor and season it with a lot of fun so that the person reading your profile is attracted easily to your inbox.
Another tip for creating a good online profile would be to mention the kind of person you are looking for in your online relationships. This would help you speak your mind straight at first itself and find somebody who would interest you and be interested in you. You could also list your likes, dislikes in a subtle manner so that the person reading your profile gets an idea of the person you are, and also does not get offended in any way.
As a rule while creating a profile for online relationships do not disclose any kind of personal information to safeguard your safety. Once you get to know the person in a better way you could share your other personal information. In the initial email keep the mail short, to the point and creative.
Once you start receiving replies try and be quick in replying to them, as even the person at the other end would be in a similar position like you in search of good online relationships. Also try to be nice in the reply even if you are not interested in the profile and do not get too critical about the profile picture posted.
Any online relationships are purely based on mental judgment and intuition. Therefore do not ignore any kind of intuition about any online relationships. You are not meeting the person physically so you have to be judgmental about the online dater. Ask yourself as many critical questions as possible before taking the online relationships to the next level and sharing personal contact details. There are many faux online profiles so be guarded and stay safe in your search and responses.
After long hours of chatting and you want to take the online relationships to the next level by meeting the person in real consider many options. If somewhere deep inside you are feeling uncomfortable about the meeting the best idea would be to put off the meeting. Only consent to physical meeting when you are completely sure of the person you are going to meet and consider if the meeting would really be worth the trouble. Online relationships can be very tricky and it is completely dependent on the way you tackle the relationship to reap the results.
When you have finally decided to meet your online date
- Ensure that a close friend does know your whereabouts for the day.
- carry a cell phone
- Avoid being picked up from a certain point and decide to meet up in a common public place.
- Do not keep the first real meeting very long as in case you are not comfortable you could leave immediately.
In case the online relationships are the long distance one where your date is staying in a different city and you people have decided to meet. It would be safe to
- Make your own arrangements for the stay irrespective of how nice or courteous your date is.
- Inform your friends or family of your meeting and details of stay in case of any emergency.
- Leave at any point if you are feeling uncomfortable.
Well the above points have been drafted entirely for your safety and it does not mean that online dating and online relationships are not safe. Online dating can be enjoyed with all the fun and thrill aspects when these few safety precautions are taken. The fantastic virtual world of online dating throws open a sea of magical experiences to explore and enjoy. The online relationships can be long lasting and forever when you keep your eyes open for anything suspicious and are able to follow your heart at all times.
Well the stage is set you have finally decided to go on that perfect date with your special someone and you are all excited about it. However, have you decided the venue for this special meeting? This is a question, which we often are stuck at. The irony of the situation is that when he/ she asks “so where do we meet up?” we would end up feeling tongue-tied even though there are numerous first date ideas like parks, beaches, cafes, restaurants, theaters and so on yet no particularly interesting place to choose as a cozy and warm venue to catch up with him/her. Venue of the date is as important as the way you dress or speak during the date.
So the point here is that there are many first date ideas but it is you who has to decide which would be the perfect first date venue to make you feel warm and comfortable. To help you in this sticky situation listed below are some exciting first date ideas, which you can take into consideration while searching for good venues for the first date with your sweetheart.
Primarily decide when you are meeting up with your partner. Is it going to be for lunch in between work or dinner after work or on a common holiday? Once you have the answer to this question of course with both of you consenting then you could start scouting around for good first date ideas. If you are looking to meet up in between work for lunch maybe you could choose a restaurant or café somewhere in the vicinity of the workplace so that you can rush back to work after the meeting easily. However, do not choose a restaurant very close to the office where most of your or your partner’s colleagues would be lunching. This way you would spend the entire date speaking to your colleagues and answering their nosy queries.
Dinner would be among the better first date ideas than lunch as you would not be preoccupied with the fact that you would have to rush back to work after an hour. A cozy dinner meeting would give you ample time to get to know each other better over a relaxed dinner. The choice of restaurant again must be made with care. Here the factors to be considered would be that the place should not be overcrowded where you would have to vacate the table in a stipulated time to make way for other waiting guests. There are numerous restaurants, which provide the perfect ambience for a first date by playing soothing background music and have the option of candle lit dinners. While opting for dinner as first date ideas choose the best restaurant, which would be calm yet provide a cozy atmosphere for the date.
Well lunch and dinner are usual first date ideas but in case you are looking at something out of the box first date ideas a zoo would be a superb venue for a first date. Zoo as first date ideas would be great of course on a normal off-season day when you know that the zoo will not be so crowded. A perfect place with ample space to walk around and those little sitting areas would provide the cozy corners to sit and spend a lot of time-sharing each other’s feelings and emotions. Another advantage of using the zoo as a venue for the first date would be that you would have a lot of general topics open available for conversation in case you are tongue-tied and do not know how to start a conversation. You could might as well start talking about the animals in general or their plight behind the cage bars.
If you thought zoo was among the super first date ideas then you would find choosing from the many art galleries, as venues would be an even better idea. Art as a backdrop would provide the perfect romantic ambience required for a first date. Towered by contemporary and traditional artwork the thoughts and sparks between the two of you would be fantastic. With a lot of space to walk around freely you would get a lot of time to get to know each other. If you feel something about the date is going wrong you could just fall back onto the art gallery restroom and compose yourself before starting the conversation afresh!
Another great venue as first date ideas would be some sporting venue. It would turn out remarkable when both of you are sports enthusiasts. Sharing a common interest and doing something you, love on your first date would be heavenly. You could maybe go ice skating, skiing or bowling and enjoy a fun filled time in each other’s company. When you go on a sporting adventure the best part about it would be that, you get to share many common thoughts and end it over a cup of steaming coffee after the game. The thought itself sounds so amazing just imagines when you are present in person at the venue.
If you were the nervous kind looking for some real respite from the tense situation comedy theatre plays or a circus would be a fantastic choice while looking for first date ideas. You would have a ball of a time laughing and enjoying the event. That would certainly give cool your nerves a bit and you would have a lot to discuss about once the show has ended. In this case you are sure not to be left fidgety not knowing how to start a casual conversation.
Well folks whichever the venue you choose from among the best first date ideas utilize it to the maximum extent and of course dress appropriately. All you need is a good place to hang out with him/her and share your feelings with each other. In case, you are not ready to experiment not to worry at all. There are some traditional first date ideas, which are sure not to turn out to be a disaster. Just go to a good restaurant or cafe, chill out over wine, and dine else go for a long walk in a nearby park or beach and end it with some warm coffee. Another safe bet would be to just hang out in either of your homes and spend quality time with each other.
I hope my guide to your first date ideas would have helped you take a decision on the location of the date. All that matters is the planning about the venue no matter where you choose to go!
Therefore, you have finally met your dream girl and are planning to ask her out on a date with you. Well yeah so, what is the big deal about it? You just go and directly ask her out? I really do not know if your judgment is correct, as sometimes the girl could be very curt in her reply, you would be left behind flabbergasted, and spell bound. Starting a relationship is a very delicate situation and handling the relationship especially in the initial stages could be extremely tough. You would be dealing with her feelings as well as yours. You have to ask the girl out in such a way that she is not hurt and still accepts the invitation in a positive bent of mind and not out of pressure. If you are wondering there are so many things attached to this simple act life is not a bed of roses my friend. You need to carefully tackle the thorns in between to make it a bed of soft roses. Fine all said and done but exactly how to ask a girl out would now be the question in most of your minds. Not to worry people listed below is a set of unwritten and unsaid rules, which have to be followed invariably while tackling the question how to ask a girl out!
Primarily the first step in your how to ask a girl out manual would be to ascertain if she is interested in you. Well how are you going to discover that? It is certainly not rocket science my friends; all you need to do is keep a watch on her reactions when you speak to her. Does she look you in the eye while speaking to you? Is she smiling and laughing in your company. All these factors if answered in the positive then you could really ask her out as she is somewhat interested in you and likes to be in your company.
The next point to be considered from your how to ask a girl out guide would be to take notice of her physical contact with you. Some girls when they are interested in the person would like to show their interest by grabbing every single opportunity to touch the person in some way. That is her way of expressing her affection and interest towards you. However, that would not mean that if she rarely even shakes hands with you let alone try to touch you she is not interested in you. Some girls are very shy and would not be able to express their feelings through touch. Nevertheless, that does not give you the liberty of touching the girl in every single opportunity. You would end up scaring her rather than finding a nice way and decide your way of how to ask a girl out.
While you are considering how to ask a girl out one main point to be taken into consideration would be the girl’s eyes. They say the expression in the eyes can speak volumes about a person. That same principle applies for girls too. When a girl is interested in you she would tend to stare at you longingly or affectionately for a long time even after the conversation is over. However, a word of caution here would be that girls are used to looking directly at the face when speaking to someone. Therefore, you need to make out the difference between the affectionate look and the normal gaze when she speaks. There is another category of girls who would immediately turn away the moment you look at them. These girls would be the shy type who are interested in you but are too shy to even look at you!
The next step to be followed while considering asking the girl out would be to pay attention to what she is speaking when the two of you are having a casual conversation. This would help you keep the conversation going even after she stops talking. This would be an excellent opportunity to impress her with your gift of the gab. However, people when you are speaking to her never as a rule stare at her body even if you cannot resist. This would immediately send wrong and negative signals about you. Usually girls hate it when men stare at their bodies.
Next, make her feel nice and wanted in all ways. If she is carrying something heavy, offer to carry it for her or get her lunch if she is busy at her work desk. These gestures would make her feel good and send a positive message about you. Another tip while you are pondering over the fact of how to ask a girl out would be to pacify her when she has a bad day. Most of the time this would do the trick as girls is usually very sensitive and when somebody comforts them during one of those awful days, they would have a place sealed in the girl’s heart!
Finally once you have taken note of so many criteria now comes the main point in your how to ask a girl out manual. The day you are planning to ask her out make sure you are dressed neatly and also smell good. Also, do not forget to brush your teeth and shave before you present yourself in front of her. Once you meet her, do not try to act overly formal. Just start a casual conversation as you would on a normal day and try to guess her mood. You certainly do not want to pop up the question when she is in a bad mood! Once you people get talking normally for some time and you feel the time is right for the big question ask her out in a very casual yet sweet manner. You could ask her to come for a movie or dinner.
While you are trying to ask the girl out while online dating you could be at a greater advantage of expressing your feelings in words rather than try to express face to face. Sometimes you would be left tongue tied not knowing what to say but that situation would not arise with online dating.
If the girl is smart, enough she may ask you back bluntly if you are asking her out on a date. Make sure you tell her yes in a confident and subtle manner. Girls usually like people who are straightforward and true. The last point in your how to ask a girl out guide would be accept rejection with the same enthusiasm as you would have when she consents. Try to hide your emotions even if you are upset and change the topic but continue the conversation for a few more seconds before you leave.
Well people I guess that the step by step how to ask a girl out guide would have been of good use to you. Keep in mind these points coupled with wear your best smile, coat of confidence, and ask the girl of your dreams out on a special date!